2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
me + whiskey = a bad person
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
