We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
