How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
do herpes really smell.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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