..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
