could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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