He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
