come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
