Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Your penis caused this!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
