I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
