I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
