My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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