aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
