why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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