sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
