uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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