so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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