The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
