Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
