i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
