Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
