what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We had to coat check the pizza.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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