I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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