how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
