One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
