i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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