come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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