What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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