So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I understand Curling. That high.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
