I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
