you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
