thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
God I need to hump something, right now.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
