We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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