Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
