Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
