Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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