She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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