I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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