doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
