Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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