I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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