You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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