Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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