my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
