38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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