I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
