hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
