i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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