Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
