Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
