let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
