Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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