Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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