Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.