i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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