she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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