My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
