What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
