Im at strip club and am horny
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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