if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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